"the lake of no beginnings"

I hate the way

your intentions draw me in

and I hate the way

I am a cog in the machine

but I cannot seem to turn

the same way as everyone else-

my cheeks are covered in stinging scratches

and my hands in blood and scrapes,

my eyes were once full of stars

but now they are closed

and full of darkness and the static of the night

and I drown in the lake of no beginnings

while I fear the light of day-

they refuse to acknowledge it

even when they are faced with it

right in front of them

so I continue despite giving everything

and keeping nothing,

I continue despite my envy for

those who can exist.