"never was"

The feverish dreams

and the love of a life so messy

were never meant to be.

They dropped me

in a house full of strangers

and expected me to thrive,

to understand,

to adapt eagerly and not reluctantly.

When I look into the silver or the pond

all I see is the vessel of someone else,

I have always wished to crawl out

of this skin

because it is not mine

and I am fairly sure

that this isn’t fine,

they say that life is the only way,

they say that ribbons and pearls

and perfect curls

are all we have left once they lay

and yet the shadow of these bones

control the castle of the home

that never was.