"i didn't know"

I look at you

and all I see

are the things

that I was supposed to be;

the darkness that surrounds me

as a cloud,

the darkness

that follows me around

was not supposed to be there-

they advised me to follow your lead

but I was never really wired that way

so I failed

and look where it has brought me;

I wish I could have controlled it

but I didn’t know how,

I didn’t know why,

I didn’t know.