"four days, four years"

Four days ago

I tried again-

the nature of the air

made me want

to melt away;

four days from now

I will be here,

the words

that crossed each bone

have nothing left to say.

I have found a home

though I still wonder

what would have happened

had I known sooner;

four years ago

would my path have differed-

would she have cried

over the computer?

Four years from now,

would I wake up

happier and healthier,

maybe a bit more human?