"allowed"

You do not have to smile

and thank the world

for handing you these people

and telling you

“fix them”.

You are allowed to cry,

and you

are allowed to mourn

what could have been

even if the stars have not dimmed yet

and even if you have the universe on your shoulders

and even if the ones above told you to carry it,

you are allowed

to crumple into a ball

of clumping space dust and

one day

I promise that you will find yourself

alone,

you will live the fantasy

you always felt guilt over

and you will find

that your responsibility

is not to help the dead flowers bloom

or form planets out of nothing.